Have you ever noticed how what can start off as a minor disagreement can escalate into a blazing row?
First it’s about, say, who does the washing up, and before you know it you’re questioning the entire relationship. Benign bickering can turn into an over animated argument which neither of you are prepared back down from, determined to get your point across.
Often it can get to the point where what you both were trying to express, potentially a feeling of hurt or sadness at a need that went unnoticed, gets lost in the frustration or anger that overtakes you.
And the more you push your point, the more your partner pushes back. It becomes a vicious cycle of blame. These scenarios are common in the therapy room – couples stuck and unsure of how to get out of the rut they find themselves in.
A therapist can help you both gain a little perspective. Someone who can listen to both sides of the argument and work with you to open up the potential for an alternative way of engaging with each other.
It is possible for you to develop a different way that, instead of feeling like a lose-lose, can become a win-win.