Sex & Intimacy Therapy
Support with sexual difficulties to enhance your satisfaction
Lack of sex drive
There can often be myths about how much sex we think we should be having. It can leave you feeling like you have a problem if you simply don’t want it that much. The truth is, we can all choose how often (or not) we want to engage with someone sexually and it doesn’t have to be a problem. It can become a problem, however, if you’re in a relationship and your partner wants more sex than you do.
Lack of sex drive can look like either one or both of you not being interested in sexual intimacy or your interest in sex diminishing. Differing sex drives can happen throughout a relationship, but if sex is often avoided by either of you, it could indicate the need to look a little deeper at what’s going on.
Several things can have an impact on sexual desire. If possible medical reasons have been ruled out, it may be time to think about what is going on in your life and in your relationship that may be contributing to this.
Erectile dysfunction
There can be a lot of shame attached to erectile dysfunction which can leave one or both of you making excuses to avoid sex to not draw attention to the problem, getting frustrated which can exacerbate the problem, or blaming each other for creating the problem.
Most men at some point will have either struggled to get or maintain an erection. It’s normal. If it happens repeatedly however, you may want to investigate what’s causing it.
It may come down to lifestyle factors that can impede the flow of blood to the penis and interfere with tumescence, such as high cholesterol or smoking. Certain medications or medical interventions may also play a part.
There are also psychological factors that need to be considered. How stressed are you? Are you experiencing relationship difficulties? Are you worried about your performance? An experienced therapist will work with you either as a couple or individually to better understand what may be contributing to it and work with you on ways to help overcome it.
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Complete our enquiry form to be contacted by a therapist. We will endeavour to be in touch within 48 hours of receiving your enquiry.
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We will organise a time for you to have a brief conversation with a therapist to get a sense of what’s going on for you at the moment.
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If we agree you would benefit from ongoing therapy, we will work together to address the issues preventing you from having lasting relationships.
Premature ejeculation
t can be frustrating, embarrassing, and distressing for a man to ejaculate sooner than he would like during sex. How long men should last before coming, however, is a matter of personal opinion.
People can have misconceptions about how long they should last based on porn, peers and poor perceptions of what is ‘normal’.
What is normal, is that most men will, at some point, experience ejaculating sooner than they would ideally like during sexual engagement. This can be for several understandable reasons, such as new and exciting sexual activity, if it has been a long time since you last had sex or masturbated or finding yourself in a highly arousing situation.
There are, however, times when coming too soon happens frequently and causes distress. There are some medical reasons why premature ejaculation can happen, which require investigation by a doctor.
Often, though, there are psychological reasons that get in the way, which can include performance anxiety, relationship difficulties, nerves, trying to please a partner and other reasons. This is when psychosexual therapy can help you acknowledge and address some of your reasons and set you up with tools that may help.
Painful sex
When sex is painful it can create a real barrier to any attempt to take pleasure from a sexual interaction, either with a partner or through masturbation. It is a condition most common with women and can involve pain touching the vulva area, on penetration or at the end of sex.
The pain can feel like tightness, cramping, a sharp pain or a dull ache and can vary in intensity. Some people can also feel discomfort trying to insert a tampon. Suffice it to say, none of this makes for a pleasant sexual experience.
The situation can create a lot of distress for both partners and leave you trying to avoid sex to avoid the pain.
You may end up feeling inadequate and embarrassed at not being able to enjoy penetration or touching of your vulva, as well as anxiety at the anticipation of pain during sexual interactions. It can also create significant frustration for both you and your partner because of the limitations it may put on your sexual enjoyment.
Understanding and managing painful sex often requires consulting a specialist doctor to understand if there are any medical factors that are contributing to it and any medications that may help. Working with a therapist alongside this can help you look at possible emotional reasons that may be contributing to it and come up with a tailored treatment plan to help resolve or reduce the pain you experience.
Difficulty reaching an orgasm
Anorgasmia is a problem often associated with women. It happens when you cannot or struggle reach orgasm or its intensity is significantly reduced, even though you may feel sexually aroused.
There isn’t a way of measuring your intensity of orgasm, so most women will need to think about if they feel their orgasms have significantly reduced in frequency or intensity and they are distressed about this.
Difficulties orgasming may be down to some practical considerations. For starters, you need to know what turns you on. Are you being touched in a way that is most arousing to you? Do you prefer clitoral or vaginal stimulation or both? Is there a certain technique that gets you going?
Often, though, it is accompanied by psychological reasons. This may include anxiety or depression, beliefs about sex learned during childhood, religious or cultural beliefs about sex and sexual pleasure, stress or other life pressures, difficulties in your relationship, sexual trauma, and more.
Working with a therapist can help you understand your blocks and support you to overcome them.
How do I start?
Sex and intimacy can be among the hardest difficulties to address in a relationship. If you’re unsure of where to start, try reaching out to us by clicking on the button below. After receiving the form with your details, we will contact you to arrange a free 15 minute call. This gives you chance to ask any questions you may have and get comfortable with taking the next step.
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